


Jewelry

by FixOrRideDaily



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon Compliant, Character Death, Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Underage Drinking, Jewelry, Piercings, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Tattoos, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:09:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FixOrRideDaily/pseuds/FixOrRideDaily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's weird comforting pattern in Ashley's life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jewelry

**Author's Note:**

> What is this? What is this thing that I wrote. I don't know. I like Ashley. This is a bunch of my Ashley headcanons that I turned into a story full of vaguely connected one shots with an overarching theme of jewelry.
> 
> Also it might as well be called 'Ashley is ship teased with like four different people and ends up with one of them' because that's what the story basically is.
> 
> It's not beta read.
> 
> Enjoy!

It started with candy and plastic. Whether it was necklaces or rings or clip-on earrings or bracelets, Ashley always had something adorning her small body. 

She loved to to suck on the surgery ropes and watch the colors glint in the sunlight. They broke off all the time or became lost because she refused to take any of them off or leave them in the car or at home. Not when her small family of four went out to the playground or to see their family or to run errands or any other place that was unsafe for delicate children toys.

“Anna, she looks ridiculous,” her father argued once, “And you know that she's going to cry when she inevitably loses them. We can't keep buying them for her.”

“She's a child, Richard,” her mother had reasoned, “And they make her happy.”

Her mother wore lots of jewelry too. Not as much as Ashley and not as often, but she did. She wore big hooped earrings and in addition to her wedding ring she also wore a ring on her pinky finger and thumb as well as rings on her opposite ring finger and middle finger. She wore a lot of bracelets and a locket. The picture inside was of all of them together. Her mom, her dad, her sister, and her. Ashley liked to sit on her mother's lap and look at it. She wore other dangling necklaces, but that one was their favorite.

She died when Ashley was almost five. It was quick. She was shot. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She was a civilian causality at a crime scene. Ashley didn't understand that as child. Her mother was there one day and gone the next.

It was after the wake and everyone had left except for her grandparents. Her mother's parents, not her father's parents. Her father's parents were also dead. Her father and her grandfather were in the kitchen together drinking something she was told wasn't for kids to ever drink. Her grandmother was in the living room with her sister Natasha who had been trying not to cry all day. Ashley had hardly been able to stop crying throughout the day. Nat was almost eight though. She was a big kid. Maybe big kids just didn't cry over things. With her grandmother distracted by her sister Ashley, almost school age, padded her way over to her parents' bedroom.

The door was wide open, which was almost never the case because mom and dad didn't like her and Nat in their room. Ashley wandered in. The room was a mess, which was also almost never the case because her dad couldn't stand messes. She didn't addled and instead headed for her mother's vanity. 

She climbed up into the seat and looked at herself in her mother's mirror. She looked very sad today. That was probably because her mother was dead and she wouldn't see her again until she got to go to heaven herself. That's what her father said anyway. Ashley reached forward and opened her mother's jewelry chest. 

One by one she took out every piece of jewelry her mother owned. She tried to put some of it on but most of it didn't fit so she stopped trying. She got very sad when she found her mother's locket in there amongst the rest of the stuff. She wished her mom had taken it with her to heaven. Leaving everything out Ashley hopped down and left the room already crying again.

Sometimes she wondered if she would have eventually grown out of her obsession with shiny trinkets had her mother lived.

\---

It was Matt who gave her the first piece of jewelry she owned that's not from a family member and not one she bought for herself. It was friendship day at their school. That was what they had to call valentines day in grade school. They weren't allowed to celebrate the real holiday. It was not proper and they went to a Catholic school. Kids weren't supposed to play favorites. They have to bring stuff for everybody.

Nobody said they had to bring EQAUL stuff for everybody though. They all brought something special for their actual friends and something cheep for the other kids. So little Ashley, who had no friends to speak of, had a locker full of dollar store candy as was usual for this holiday while everyone around her had gotten real gifts and toys and cards and photos of themselves with their friends. That wasn't too bad because she liked candy, but it highlighted the point.

Ashley was stuffing said candy into her bag when the tall boy approached her. His bag was overflowing with things. It couldn't close all the way. A lot of kids liked him. She couldn't blame them.

“Thanks,” he said, knocking the brand new baseball cap higher up onto his head. She had gotten that for him. She didn't know anything about the team who's symbol was on the front, but her dad thought they were a good team. She hoped that Matt agreed. He was smiling so he probably did.

“You're welcome,” she sighed. He was a nice boy. He never picked on her and often he told kids who did to stop it. He shared his snack with her every day because her father never remembered to send her one. He wasn't very smart, but he was very nice. She thought she might marry him. If no one else did first.

That's why she got him an actual gift and not the same pencils she'd gotten everyone else. (Yes she got them all pencils. Why would she get them something fun? None of them liked her. They had only got her candy because getting her something else would require thinking about her. Nobody thought about Ashley anymore than they had to.) Matt stayed there smiling at her for a few extra minutes watching her pack up the rest of her things to go home.

“Do you need something?” she asked and Matt blushed. He scratched the back of his head and his new hat came up a little more.

“I forgot to put your gift in your locker,” he admitted, “I just noticed it as I was packing up my bag.”

Oh. Ashley sighed while she rolled her eyes and held out her hand to him. She fully expected him to drop an eraser or a piece of candy or another tiny nothing into it. She decided to humor him anyway. Again Matt was a nice boy and he wanted to make sure she wasn't left out. But what he dropped into her hand is cold and metal. She had closed her hand on instinct so she had to open it to see what it was.

It was a sliver necklace. Not REAL silver, they were only ten years old. But it shined like silver does. The charm was circular. There was a craving on it. She thought it was of a rose. It might have been another kind of flower though. It was not like it was expensive. It was the type of thing she would get herself at Claire's or Justice. It wasn't fancy. But no one else in class had gotten her a real gift. Just him.

“You got this for me?” Ashley asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” he answered, “You're always wearing necklaces so I thought you'd like it.”

She didn't know she was crying until Matt said something.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly reaching out to her, “You're crying.”

“Yeah,” she said as she wiped her face, “I really like this. Thank you.”

“You're welcome,” Matt said cheerfully, “Mom and I went over to our church garage sale last Sunday and when I saw this I thought of you right away. So she let me get it for you.”

She pulled the necklace on over her head as he spoke. The chain was very long. The charm hung down by her stomach rather than up by her neck. She didn't care that it was too big for her. She didn't care that he got it used at a yard sale. She didn't care that he had probably spent a few dollars on it at most. All she cared about was the fact that he had gotten it for her. He had picked it out with her in mind. He had saw it and thought of her. He really was her friend.

“Is that where you got gifts for everybody in the class?” Ashley asked politely. Okay, not just politely, she might have also been fishing to see if he got individual gifts for all the kids in their class because Matt was the kind of guy to do that. Her bag was packed so she closed her little locker and walked with him towards the hall to the upper classes to meet their siblings for pick-up. They both had to go wait there every day because they had older siblings in the school with them. Matt looked down at the floor as they walked. He looked ashamed.

“No,” he confessed, “Mom and I went to the dollar store and I got a couple bags of spinning tops to give out to for everybody else. That's why I forgot to put your gift in your locker. It was the only one that was different.”

Spinning tops?

“You didn't get gifts for anyone else?” She asked as they got to the stairwell.

Matt shrugged, “I forgot about friendship day until yesterday. My last school didn't do valentine's day. But I couldn't bring nothing in, especially not after I had gotten something for you. Since I already got the necklace for you though I figured I would just give it to you today.”

Ashley stood there stunned as she waited for her older sister to come out of her class and meet her so they could find their father and go home. Not only had Matt gotten a gift for her on friendship day, something no one had ever done before ever, she had been the only person Matt had gotten a gift on friendship day despite the fact that based on his bag full he was popular enough to have his fair share of friends in class. And not only that he hadn't even gotten her the necklace for friendship day. He had just bought it for her because it reminded him of her when he saw it. He had just been thinking about her.

She was crying again when her sister showed up and pulled her out to the parking lot to meet up with their father. Matt waved as he waited for his own older brothers to come for him. Ashley waved back. She waved until she couldn't even see him through the crowd and then kept waving for good measure. This had been the best valentine's day ever.

Ashley had a friend. A real, true, honest to goodness friend. Not just any friend either, but the sweetest and nicest one in the whole entire world.

And she was definitely going to marry Matt when she grew up.

\---

By the time she's fifteen it's kind of an addiction.

Ashley got her ears done first when she was still a kid. Her grandmother took both her and her sister at the same time. At twelve she had her first cartilage done. It was so cute that by fourteen she had done it twice more in the same ear. She did an industrial piercing in the other ear after that. In her two ears she had a total of five piercings and she wasn't sure she was done. She had a little room left.

Everyone knew she loved to pick out different earrings and things. That's why the text from Emily wasn't too much of surprise while she tried to force herself the rest of the way through The Old Man and The Sea in her room that Sunday afternoon. (Hemingway’s short pieces were something to be in awe of, but his longer stuff left much to be desired in her unpublished and unaccomplished opinion.) 

Emily: Getting my bellybutton pierced. Wanna come?

Ashley: Today?

Emily: Yes. 

Ashley: Sure

Emily: C U in 5 thn.

Ashley left the book open on her bed, rolled to her feet, found a brown tunic that went to her thighs and put it on. Emily hadn't seen her yesterday so she didn't know she had been wearing these beige leggings since then. She shoved one of her many beanies on her head and crammed her feet into her boots. Then once her messenger bag was stuffed with anything she might need while she was out of the house and snug on her shoulder she headed out the door.

“Dad!” she called as she walked through the living room and out the door to go meet Emily at the curb, “I'm going out with one of my girl friends. Okay, see ya later then, bye.”

She didn't wait for him to give a response before she headed across the lawn and saw that Emily was already waiting in the driver's seat of her mother's car, but probably hadn't been there long. It was one of those fancy cars with only two doors. A Carmelo or something. Unlike Emily, Ashley didn't know anything about cars. She got in the passenger side.

“We heading to Constellations?” Ashley said in greeting while she buckled in.

“Is that where you want to go?” Emily asked pulling away from her house and heading down the road

“Yeah, I got my golden sword earring there,” Ashley said showing off her industrial piercing, then she pointed to her dangling earrings, “And my DNA strands.”

“Did it hurt a lot?” Emily asked a little cautiously as she drove them off towards their school where the piercing and tattoo shop Constellations was located, “All the piercings I mean.”

“Eh, not too much,” Ashley said with a shrug, she could sense Emily had asked Ashley to come along because the redhead was basically a veteran at piercing things and the raven-haired girl was nervous (not that it was going to stop her but she was), “The industrial was probably the worst. I barely feel it when I get something done anymore. I mean it doesn't hurt more then when you get your ears pierced for the first time.”

“Hmm,” Emily said as if that was interesting, “I've actually had my ears pierced since I was a baby so I wouldn't know what that feel like.”

“Oh,” Ashley said looking out the window.

They drove in silence for a little while longer. Not an uncomfortable one. She and Emily were just chill like that. They didn't need to fill space with idle chatter. They enjoyed the silent presence of having one another around. Ashley realized she was so excited to buy some new jewelry she hadn't even bothered to ask her friend why she had decided, seemingly at random, to pierce of all things her bellybutton.

It was only weird because Emily had nothing pierced other than her earlobes. Sam and Beth both had their cartilage done (sometimes they were gross and wore matching earrings there) while Jess and Hannah had both talked about getting something else on their body pierced. Emily never seemed interested in that though. She never even mentioned it before that day. They were on the street to the shop.

“Hey, Em, what made you decide to get your bellybutton pierced today?”Ashley asked as Emily drove around looking for a place to park. Emily was quiet as she focused on parking. She could do whatever she wanted, Ashley was just curious as to why she was doing this particular thing.

“My mother said that I couldn't pierce my eyebrow,” Emily explained pulling into an open space by the sidewalk with ease, “She said that having anything other than my earlobes pierced was disgraceful and that I could never be a respectable young woman if I did something like that.”

The car was parked, Emily quickly got out and was stomping her way down the street. Ashley got out and followed her. She was still pretty unclear on how this led to a bellybutton piercing.

“So you wanted to pierce your eyebrow and your mom said no?” Ashley asked.

“No,” Emily explained to her as they headed for the store. “We saw an artist with a pierced eyebrow in a magazine and she informed me that would never be acceptable and why.”

“So you're getting a bellybutton piercing?” Ashley asked as they got to the store front.

“Yes,” Emily said walking in with purpose.

“Why?”

“Because I want to prove her wrong,” Emily explained, “I'm going to get a body piercing and I'm going to continue to be admired and applauded by my professors. Then when I graduate the top of the class at the end of the year, just like I always do and my parents throw me a big party with all their friends to celebrate that fact like they always do, I'm going to wear something that will show off my bellybutton and it's piercing and have her see everyone still praising me and prove her wrong.”

Well no one will ever be able to say Emily doesn't think things through. That is the most well-thought out plan to break a rule Ashley has ever heard. And she hangs out with Josh Washington.

“So you're going to get a piercing for one day in May?” Ashley asked.

“Well, I mean it will also be cool to have the secret and be keeping it from my parents,” Emily said as they wandered around the store.

“What do you mean?” Ashley asked.

“You know that thrill you get when you do something just because you know it will make your parents mad at you if they find out? Like you know you are getting away with something? That feeling,” Emily explained before she stepped up to the counter.

No, she didn't.

Don't be mistaken here. Ashley is no angel. She does plenty that would make her father's eyes pop out and his head spin in circles if he knew. For examples, she lets Josh playfully slap her butt all the time, she has slept in the same bed as Chris overnight a few times, Matt likes to tickle her on sensitive spots, she smokes A LOT of pot, she writes dirty stories and posts them online, she drinks alcohol whenever she goes to parties that her friends throw, she takes birth control, and owns a vibrator that she gets some good use out of.

But she doesn't do any of these things TO piss off her dad. They just would piss him off. She does them because they're fun and/or because she wants to. She does them for her. But Emily sounds like she does this type of thing all the time. Ashley has never done anything just because she knew her dad wouldn't be okay with it. Maybe she should.

But what?

Her dad wasn't crazy about her piercings. He let her do it though. He had one rule. Ears only. No face. Nothing belong the neck. They were already here. And Ashley loved to get new piercings. The idea excited her. She thought about all the new pieces of jewelry she could buy. She thought about sitting at the dinner table and knowing that she had a piercing he couldn't see. She thought about getting away with something like that right under his nose. Every single day. She got what Emily meant when she talked about the thrill of doing something wrong right in front of your authority figure.

She also thought it would be kind of cool to have something like that in common with Emily. They had things in common, but most of that was academic stuff. A passion for books and their brains. This was something different. This was them being united as rebels in a cause against “the man” figures in this respective lives. It was like something from a coming of age story. A bond of sisterhood and friendship.

So that day Ashley and Emily got their bellybuttons pierced together. They each got a bar with a bead in the color of their birthstone. This meant for months their belly rings matched. It was as gross and as gay as whenever Sam and Beth did it except Ashley and Emily weren't even dating so they didn't have an excuse for doing it. Ashley held Emily's hand because it hurt a lot more than she expected it to.

\---

She wore the ring everywhere. From the day he gave it to her. She takes it to get sized, puts in on and then she never takes it off again. Okay she took it off, but she did wear it a lot. It's not the expense or the design or the band or the stone. No she's unfortunately far far more cliché and boring that that.

Because the thing that keeps her coming back to the ring is the boy.

People expect a girl like Ashley to want a guy like Mr. Darcy. They expect her to want the intellect, and the charm, and the grace, and the mystery. They think because she is so quirky and smart and quiet that the only kind of guys she could like are the kind of guys like that. Guys who are all aloof and pensive. Guys who are demure and silent and tortured. It couldn't be further from the truth. 

What Ashley's attracted to is passion. Passion for life. Passion for fun. Passion for art. Passion for food. Passion for the things that can make people be happy. She just likes passion and people who are okay with being passionate about things.

Enter one Christopher Hartley

Christopher who worries over the finer details enough that he will spend hours working in the Tech lab all by himself. Christopher who cares so much about the little guy that he will stand there and hold the door open for almost every student who comes into school. Christopher who has invested actual money of his own into his ideals for future. Christopher who jokes and laughs loudly and honestly and openly. Christopher who ditches school with his best friend because the guy's having kind of a crappy day, but so is Ashley so he invite her along as well and they all get stoned on the beach. Christopher who is so full of passion for the future and technology and fun and fairness and his friends.

And Ashley finds Chris incredibly sexy.

He'd probably laugh if he could hear her think that. She's just one of the guys to him. He probably sees her the same way he does Matt or Mike. He's even called her dude a few times. She would probably try to fix herself up a little for him, but she's always been told not to change herself for a man and it does seem like a lot of work. She doesn't want to have to think too hard about what she's putting on when she gets dressed in the morning. Matching colors is hard enough. Plus she already puts enough effort into her make-up as it is too.

It was her sixteenth birthday and Jess being the sweetheart that she is, offers to throw Ashley a birthday party at her place. Her place isn't as big as the Washington's or Mike's or Emily's, but the living room is nice and cozy and they have enough space for dancing and games. Only their small group of ten friends was there anyway. Ashley was so touched by the gesture she didn't really care about the smallish size. Anyway besides that what teenage girl doesn't love an excuse to get presents.

It was near the end of the evening when Chris pulled her away to a back hall of the house. He'd gotten pretty drunk. She'd fantasied on the walk over that he had done it so that he could press her up against the wall and covertly kiss her. Especially when he says in what she thought that he thought was a much quieter voice than it actually was, “Sorry, but I didn't want to do this in front of everyone.”

“S'Okay,” she sighed. She's a little drunk herself. They were standing close together because of how narrow the hallway was. She thinks it lead to the laundry room. Her family's house doesn't even have enough room to designate a place just to do laundry. They have to keep their washer and dryer combo machine in the closet by the bathroom. Ashley had to lean back a bit to look up at Chris. Man, he's tall.

“Here. Ring any bells?” he asked holding out a small box to her with his thumb, his pointer finger and his middle finger. Oh, he had a gift for her. She didn't even notice he hadn't given her one yet. It was wrapped terribly badly so he must have done it. A lot of paper was hanging off the box and there was way too much tape for a gift of this size. Somehow she found that endearing.

She knew what it was even as she took it and opened it. It was a jewelry box. He had gotten her a new piece of jewelry to wear. Maybe he got her a new industrial earring or a just something he thought was funky and cool. Though he probably got her another pair of earrings. Knowing him they were themed something nerdy like twenty sided dice or pokeballs.

Or it was a princess cut emerald ring with smaller emeralds around the edge on a silver band.

“Wow,” Ashley breathed. She got his joke then.

“Do you like it?” he leaned down by her face when he asked looking quickly from her expression to the gift in her hand. He was smiling big and sloppy.

“It's beautiful,” she answered with a smile of her own, “It looks so real.”

Chris' face fell a little and and she lost her smile too. He slurred his words as he said, “It- it is real.”

“This is a real emerald?” she gasped out loudly, “You have got to be joking. Chris, this thing is huge.”

“It's not that big,” he defended with a wave of his hand, “And the little ones around it are all fake.”

“Why?” her heart felt heavy and... hopeful.

“Well you only turn sixteen once.” he shrugged, “And I thought it was supposed to be some big deal to you girls. You know the Sweet Sixteen, Sixteen Candles, uh... Sixteen and Pregnant...? You know what I'm getting at here.”

“Wh- How much did this cost you?” her head felt like it was spinning. 

Chris looked ashamed as he turned his gaze away from her, “It's rude to ask how much a gift cost...”

“Chris,” she warned.

“Like four... ” he admitted slowly, “...seventy. Something like that.”

Almost five hundred dollars. Chris had bought her a ring worth almost five hundred dollars. The ring was beautiful. It was probably the most beautiful (and absolutely the most expensive) piece of jewelry she had ever been given that didn't once belong to her mother. But she couldn't accept something like this if it had cost him so much money. She just couldn't.

“You don't want it,” Chris said sounding confused and disappointed by that idea. She wondered what he was thinking in that moment because he looked so sad. Ashley looked at the ring and not him.

“No, I do,” Ashley said, “But it's too much. I don't need something so extravagant and pricy.”

“No one does,” Chris reasoned, “But you love this stuff more than Hannah or Jess or Emily and all of them have stuff worth twice this ring sitting in their dressers. You appreciate it more than any of those girls do. They get to have it and you don't and that's not fair. You deserve to have something nice too. As much as they do. I want you to have something nice.”

That was a little saddening. She shouldn't have gotten her hopes up, but Ashley had thought maybe he had gotten her such an expensive ring because he possibly liked her the way that she liked him. But he was only being Chris. He was out trying to make sure the world around him was fair and just. That was disappointing to say the least.

It also got her to say, “If that's how you feel and it will make you happy then I'll keep it.”

“It would make me happy.”

“Okay, then,” she finished with a nod, “I'll wear it all the time.”

Chris took the box from her in his excitement and removed the ring from it. He grabbed her hand in a show of boldness she knows he would not have had in his sober state and he singled out her ring finger. He slipped her brand new ring onto her second to last finger, his much longer digits sliding all along her soft skin as he did it. She blushed because there was something so intimate and sensual about him doing this for her. She had read many times in many trashy books about heartbeats speeding up and heat gathering in lower regions but she didn't think that kind of stuff really happened to people until that moment. Chris might as well have dropped down onto one knee and used this ring to ask Ashley to marry him. The way she felt right then she's sure she would have said yes.

“It doesn't quite fit,” Chris sighed and she felt what he meant by that as the ring moved a little down by the bottom of her finger.

“I'll get it sized right,” she promised.

“Okay but I'm paying for that,” he decided. She didn't bother to argue with him. She admired her ring and she felt light. It was lovely. It sparkled differently than the other cubic zirconium rings she owned. She wondered if that was in her imagination. Even if he hadn't meant it romantically this was still the single most romantic gift she would probably ever receive in her life.

“Chris, why an emerald?” she asked after a minute. She was genuinely curious why he had picked this particular stone. Sapphires and rubies were roughly the same price as emeralds. And her favorite color was blue like a sapphire was while her birthstone was ruby. She had no connection to emeralds that she could think of. Chris' ears lit up red, something that happened often when he was embarrassed. Then he swallowed hard before he tried to lean in closer. He stumbled and had to brace himself against the wall behind her head. Their bodies were basically pushed up against each other.

“I picked an emerald because it matches the color of your eyes,” he whispered right next to her temple so his cool, alcohol rich breath blew into her face, “Did you know they're my favorite shade of green?”

And like that Ashley realized that his belief in fairness aside there was definitely something deeper to Chris giving her this ring.

\---

Josh and Chris were arguing when she found them in the parking lot.

Oh they weren't really arguing because Josh and Chris were best friends and they didn't fight the way other people did. They fight in a way that is unique to very close friends who have know each other as long as they have. She wouldn't know. She hasn't had anybody in her life as long as either of them have had each other (She and Matt disconnected when she switched schools and then reconnected as teenagers when they ended up in the same private high school.) Even though they insist that they adore her and they make a point to include her in things she doesn't miss the fact they are best friends to each other before they are best friends to her.

That's okay though because she gets it.

They were standing by Josh's jeep. They had been waiting for her because they were supposed to go over to Constellations. It was time to bring out the big guns. No more play time. No more little stuff. The time had come to start the gauging process.

Ashley was excited. She was only thinking of going to a two or one at most, but she was still excited because she was going to be getting her gauges. That had been the plan anyway. When she got to the guys though they were instead talking about tattoos.

“Shut up about the tattoo thing man,” Chris said loudly, “Let it go.”

“No, tell me what you meant,” Josh insisted, “I want to know what you meant.”

“It's just that you talk big is all.”

“I talk big? What's that supposed to mean.”

“You're always saying that you're going to do stuff that you're never going to do,” Chris explained and Ashley got what he meant by that. Josh had delusions of grandeur at times, “It can be a little annoying to listen to you go on.”

“So you're saying that you don't think I'll ever get a tattoo,” Josh challenged.

“No, I'm saying I know you won't ever get a tattoo,” Chris corrected, “Just like I know that you're never going to get your motorcycle license and that you're never going to go through any fighter pilot training and that you're never going to dye your hair and that you're never going to gauge your ears. No matter how many times you've told me you are.”

It was quite the list, but it was the last thing that caught Ashley's attention. Because the reason she was there with them and the reason they were going to Constellations was so she and Josh could start the process to gauge their ears. They had talked about it over the phone they night before. They had gone on about how much they both wanted to do it. They decided they would go in together. Chris should know that since he was riding along with them but it seemed like Josh had no plans to correct him on that point. He was chewing on the dead skin on his bottom lip.

“Yeah?” Josh argued, “Well you know what? I'll show you. I'll get a tattoo done today.”

Ashley was put off by that. He wanted to prove Chris wrong, and she understood that feeling. Chris, as dreamy as he was, could be a little bit of know-it-all. There was no reason to jump to a tattoo though. They had already planned to get one of his claims done that day. He could have just told Chris that was what he would do. Problem solved. But then he locked eyes with her because he knew that she knew. He looked apologetic and he said in no word exactly why he couldn't do it.

'I told my dad where I was going after school,' he would text her that night when all of this was done, 'He wasn't happy. He got angry. We fought. I don't want to give my dad more reasons to hate me.'

Josh is different than Emily. He gets no joy from upsetting his father. Different and the same. He does not want to live his life in his parent's shadow. Josh is like Ashley. He doesn't know how to talk to his parents and doubts their feelings. Knows that they love him, questions whether they like him. Like her but not like her. There was a time when Josh and his father got along. When they were a pair. The three of them create an interesting triad with their parents.

“You will not,” Chris continues making Ashley's eyes snap back to him. Maybe she'd regret this later because she really wanted to get gauges.

“Josh,” she said forcefully, “If you get a tattoo done today then I'll get one done too.”

He met her eyes again and he understood what she was doing. Standing with him. Showing solidarity. Relating to him in the only way she can. Josh doesn't talk about things and Ashley out of respect tried not to ask. Sometimes if she was lucky, Josh would let her read his journals. Sometimes when she got him high enough he'd share some of what goes on in that mind of his. Sometimes when she talked she could see his own opinion in contrast to hers in his body language. Most times she was left to wonder.

“Cool,” he responded accepting her offer. They had a moment where they were both on the same plane of life and nothing is stranger than being on a wave length like Josh Washington's.

“Ashley,” Chris moaned, “Don't encourage him.”

“Get in the car, Cochise,” Josh told their friend, “Ash and I are getting ink done today.”

“Yeah,” Ashley chimed in. There was a high attached with riding the euphoric wave of Josh's delirium. She could relish in it for hours. She could loose herself in it. It was better than illegal narcotics.

Chris rolled his eyes, “Neither of you are getting a tattoo. I'm so sure that if you do I'll get one.”

Chris would live to regret that because Ashley had become lost in Josh's world.

“Alright, Chris, but I get to pick where it goes,” Josh answered and then winked at his partner in crime, “And Ash gets to pick what it is.”

“Fine,” Chris huffed as they climbed into the car and headed out.

It was worth not getting gauges to see Chris run out of the shop like a chicken after they did indeed get tattoos drawn and inked that day. Ashley and Josh laughed in a craze after him.

\---

Ashley didn't feel like she should be at Hannah and Beth's funeral.

She was more their friend by association then ever actually their friend. She liked them both fine, and she thinks that they liked her. They did things together and they hung out and they were her friends, but more so than anything Ashley was Josh's friend. She hung with Josh at the mansion and she went out with Josh and Chris when they did stuff. Josh was the one who invited her up to the ski lodge. (She did not miss his hint that the space was small and cozy and romantic and did he mention Chris was going?)

That's the other reason she didn't feel like she should be welcome at the funeral. She played a part in their deaths.

Ashley hates pranks. But she was usually on the other side of them. She was usually the person who's locker was filled with rubber snakes or who people poured water onto. She was usually cast in the spot of the victim. She was always the one being pranked. She never got to be the one who did the pranking. That was why she did it. Emily promised it would be funny. Emily said that when it was over they'd all have a big laugh about it and maybe the Washingtons would be mad, but they'd get over it. So she and Matt decided 'let's record it.' That way she can see it later and get why it was funny. She can see that we were just playing a joke.

Ashley didn't see how they could have thought that back then.

Hannah loved butterflies and Beth love birds. Like twins. Two creatures that both take flight but can be very different. That's why Ashley decided that at the funeral she would wear a pair of butterfly earrings for Hannah and a bird pendant for Beth. Both items once belonged to her mother. It seems appropriate.

Josh doesn't talk to her throughout the whole day. She didn't blame him for that. She doesn't get to hang out with Chris either because he was at Josh's side every time she saw him. She didn't feel good enough to talk to Chris anyway. He and Sam were the only innocent ones in this. And Sam had lost the love of her life and her best friend. Who better understood Josh? She thought that was why Josh would talk to them only and no one else. She was surprised when Sam approached her.

“You're funny, Ashley,” Sam told her once they were at the Washington mansion and Ashley was sitting on the deck outside. There were reporters at the gates. Not many, but enough for it to be an annoyance to the people coming and going. The Washingtons aren't all that famous, but they are well-known enough that someone cared to know what is going on at this event. Ashley didn't know what Sam meant by that but Sam eventually explained herself.

“The earrings and the necklace,” Sam continued taking a seat on the porch swing with her friend and pushing it with her feet to get it to move, “I get it. I know how you think and I see what you did with your jewelry today. I think it's funny... in a sweet way of course.”

“Thanks,” Ashley responded, she wasn't sure how to talk to someone who's girlfriend and best friend she helped kill, “I wanted to do... something for them.”

“Do you think that they're a butterfly and bird now?” Sam asked her, “Is that what you believe?”

Ashley wasn't sure so she was honest, “I've never thought much about death.”

“That surprises me,” Sam said looking at the sky, “You seem like the type.”

Ashley didn't know what Sam meant by that, but she also didn't think it was meant as an insult so she chose not to take it as one, “My mom died when I was young so I try not to dwell on it.”

“How did she die?” Sam asked her. It was a really personal question. She didn't feel like she knew Sam well enough to tell her. She hadn't told any of her friends how her mother died. Well except for...Josh. But Ashley felt like she owed Sam something, anything. And maybe she thought an explanation would absolve her of her guilt.

“She was murdered,” Ashley answered, “She was shot by someone committing a crime. I think because she saw his face and the guy panicked.”

“What was he doing?”

“I don't know,” Ashley answered because she didn't, “I think he was stealing something.”

“Was he caught?”

“Yeah not even an hour later.”

The two girls sat there together in complete silence as they swung the porch swing and thought about their deceased friends. Though not technically dead, Ashley had given up hope. She wasn't sure about Sam though it was probably harder for her. Sam was a special kind of girl, but even she could not deny the reality of death. Ashley didn't like this silence. It was one of the bad ones.

“These were hers,” she told Sam, “The necklace and the earrings. My dad gives me some of her stuff every year and it makes me feel close to her. So the butterflies and the bird, they belonged to her.”

Sam nodded and smiled. She got what the other girl was trying to say without saying it, “Yes, Ashley you're very funny indeed.”

There wasn't anything else to say and even though she had been there first Ashley felt like she was now intruding on Sam's space. So she stood up and decided to head inside to find one of her other friends. Sam was too good and pure and had tried too hard to stop them. It was hard for Ashley to be around her and still feel like a person, not scum. She needed to find other people who were dirt like her. Other ones who were guilty and wrong. She didn't feel as bad with them.

As she made it to the door Sam said, “You didn't answer me. Is that where you think Hannah and Beth are now? Do you want them to be a butterfly and a bird?”

“Is that what you want for them, Sam?” Ashley asked back instead because she didn't have an answer.

“I want for them to be alive,” Sam sighed. Ashley hurried inside after that. She didn't talk to Sam again for the rest of the day. She saw her, but she avoided her.

And she never wore those earrings or that necklace again.

\---

Ashley wondered often in her life how it came to be that almost the same time the next year she was at another Washington's funeral.

This time though it was for Josh.

It was small. Close family and friends only. There was a casket, unlike at Hannah and Beth's funeral. She wasn't sure what possessed his parents to leave it open. Not when his face looked the way it did. But it was turned on the side enough and there was enough make-up that the scars were hidden away. If you really looked at it, you could see Josh under the guise of that monster.

She heard that he had killed a lot of people before someone finally put him down. That they only sent more and more people as search parties kept going missing. The Washington's money and all of their pushing to find Josh and Hannah and Beth paid off because all three bodies had been retrieved and eventually they had found Josh and the pile of dead bodies he had collected for himself. It took four military trained men to kill the monster her friend had become. Under that nice expensive suit he was filled with bullet holes, burns and stab wounds. Sam and Chris had told her. They both saw the body. She never asked them how or why.

She always heard people say that dead people could have been sleeping, but that wasn't true of Josh. That guy was very clearly dead. He looked cold, and lifeless, and limp and dead. There was no way anyone could mistake it for sleep. The color to his face was fake, the gauntness in his still body was very sickening, he didn't turn or toss or adjust himself the way sleeping people did. There wasn't any amount of naturalness to this.

She stood at his casket for a long time during the viewing. It felt weird and it felt like he was being shown off one last time before they put him in the ground. Chris wandered up and talked to her for a little while before he couldn't stand the sight of his best friend anymore. Matt and Sam both came over and told her she should sit down.

They were right, she had been by him way too long. Before she left though she had to do one thing.

She knew exactly why she did it. She did it because she couldn't rip off her skin and throw it in there with him. She did it because eventually she went out and gauged her ears and he never did. She did it for the memory of their day of kinship. She did it because she wanted him to have them. Forever. To remember her.

She took her plugs out of her ears. They had pot leafs on them because this was Josh's day. She slipped the two small pieces of jewelry into the pocket of Josh's jacket. He had always wanted to gauge his ears and he had always wanted a cool pair of plugs and now he had some. They were his.

She wandered away and took her seat between her father and sister. She had another pair of gauges in her purse and she put them in as more people went up to see Josh. She saw Chris watching her and she knew that he knew what she had done. She thought he might scold her for messing with the body or cry because it was Josh. Instead he smiled. 

Ashley thought about Josh every time she put her gauges in from that day on.

\---

He got her the first nice ring she ever owned so it was only fitting that he also got her the best ring she ever owned too.

It took some time for Chris and Ashley to feel comfortable. They hovered in a weird and awkward place after everything that happened to them. They were together, they knew they were together, but they didn't quite act like it. At first there was little kissing, sparse amounts of touching and few dates. Things were very slow going.

When this happened they had only just started having sex in the weeks prior despite the fact that they had been living together for almost two years and they slept in the same bed. Emily asked her often how she could stand it. Though Emily, Jess and Matt couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other.

It was February which could be a hard month for them all. Even though she had always had her big Ivy League dreams, she ended up at the University of Southern California as did Chris, who had also had his own dreams of big time schooling. It was not an education to laugh at by any means. It was a highly well-regarded school and there were many talented professors there. It was just a small step down from where they had both been aiming. Trauma had made leaving home and friends hard. Nobody really knew how Mike did it.

They were on the campus and Chris told her had had something to show her. That usually meant that he had a surprise for her. Chris was sweet, but he was not sneaky. She could read him as easily as she had read the many books she had completed in her life. He was not mysterious. He ran her across the whole campus in his excitement. He brought her to the big fancy, artsy gazebo that some art students got to decorate at the beginning of every single semester. Ashley knew that because she was in the class a few years back. She had helped decorate it. They're theme had been “in memory of.” She did a glass panel for the Washington siblings. A deer with birds and a butterflies on his antlers. She gave it to Sam when the class took them down and Sam hung it in her room window.

“Okay,” Chris said, “We're here.”

“At the gazebo?” she asked, “Why?”

“I'm doing one of my art credits this semester and ended up in this class,” he explained, “Can you guess which one is mine?”

“What's the theme this time?” she asked looking around.

“It's Companionship,” he answered watching her walk around and inspect each piece. Whichever one it was was not going to be very good. Chris was not an artist. He didn't have the dexterity in his hand or the patience. That meant it would be one high-up or one lower down because the better ones usually took up the middle space. Not because teachers played favorites but because the students who weren't as good didn't want their stuff seen. There's were usually the smaller panels too. Chris would have done a small one for sure. There were a lot of ones that centered around love. Hearts and couples. One was of what looked were meant to be Wedding bells. She liked that one. That fit the theme well. It wasn't done very well, but it was sweet. She was still looking around for his panel when she turned and saw Chris was no longer standing up, but kneeling down behind her. Her heart may have actually stopped.

“Oh,” she said with a huge smile on her face having a good idea now which panel was his.

“Yeah,” he said and pulled the second ring box she had ever seen in his hands out of his pocket.

“Ashley...” he started very nervously.

“Yes,” she cried out in reflex.

“Um, okay,” Chris laughed, “I kind of planned a whole thing. So do you mind if I ask you first before you answer?”

“Right. Sorry, ” she laughed blushing, then waved her hand at him “Go ahead.”

“Ashley,” he was much less nervous the second time, but then he knew what she was going to answer, “You and I have been friends for a really long time. We've been through a lot together. We've survived a lot together. I couldn't be happier that if I had to go through that then I got to do it with you. These last few years together for me have been wonderful and I can't imagine my life without you in it. So if you want to and you'll accept me then I would like very much to marry you.”

He fumbled a little to open the box when he was done. Inside was a diamond ring with rubies on either side of it on a silver band. She'd find out later this ring had been in Chris' family for many years. It was one of the only possessions his great-grandmother had when she came to the country. His mom had not used it when she got married and his uncle had never gotten married so Chris' grandmother had given it to him... when he started dating Ashley.

“Can I say 'yes,' now?” she asked through her hands that were covering her mouth.

“Yeah, you can say 'yes' now,” he answered with a nod and smile.

“Yes,” she said throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him as much as she could manage as she said the word over and over again. Chris almost fell over from the pressure and eventually he stood up. They were still hugging as he did and she was still trying her best to keep kissing him.

“So I may be wrong here,” Chris teased, “But I get the feeling you might be happy about this.”

Ashley hit his arm, “Of course I'm happy, you dork. We're getting married.”

Then Ashley removed the emerald ring she had been wearing since he gave it to her. That made her momentarily sad until Chris took the other ring out of the box. Her engagement ring and replaced the spot with that. He had done the same thing with the first ring and Ashley had suspected for the first time that Chris felt about her the way she felt about him. She put the green ring on her free ring finger. Chris held both her hands in both of his and admired the rings that he had given her. He turned his gaze to her face to finally returned her kisses. He kissed her slow and loving. Ashley felt her body go hot.

“Chris,” she whispered in her best sultry voice when he pulled back, “Do you think you could maybe take us home? I feel like celebrating our engagement somewhere more... private.”

He might as well have ran with how fast he took her to his truck. They could tell people tomorrow.

\---

She had four bridesmaids and Chris had only two groomsmen and that's just how it worked out for them at their wedding. Her four bridesmaids of the apocalypse were her older sister Natasha, Emily, Jess and Sam. Technically Sam is her maid of honor, but they all pitched in to help her plan the event, because she and Chris were useless at this kind of thing. They had had an hour long discussion over the possible differences between 'Save the Dates' and 'Invitations' before deciding to invite everybody they knew over text message. Emily and Jess didn't stand for that though and made her get real invitations. Nat had agreed with them and Sam had laughed so they were no help.

They made sure she had held up all the traditions. Emily at the helm. You would think she was Ashley's maid of honor the way she had taken over everything.

So it hadn't been a surprise when Emily came to Ashley on the morning of her wedding with a large bag in her hands. She had spent the night at her father's because she didn't want Chris to see her dress. Emily was the first of her bridesmaids to show up with the exception of her sister who was still fast asleep in her own room. Ashley had woken up before her alarm and jumped out of bed. She had been too excited to stay in bed. She was getting married. To Chris

“Hey, Em,” Ashley said when she opened the door for the other girl after she heard the doorbell ring, “You're here early.”

“I'm here in time to help you get ready for your wedding,” Emily answered walking into the house as Ashley shut the door behind her. She skipped over to the couch because she was in a really good mood. Did she mention that she was getting married? To her high school crush? Because she was.

Emily sat down by Ashley who was sitting crossed legged on the couch and bouncing around it place. Emily shook her head at her. 

“You could do better,” Emily sighed. She had been saying that since they announced the engagement, “He's not that great.”

“He's pretty great,” Ashley replied like she always did. She always hoped Emily was teasing when she said that, but she was never completely sure of it. She didn't know what it was that would cause Emily to think Ashley and Chris weren't perfect for each other though. Everyone else seemed to think that was the case. Even her father and his standards for his daughters were high ones.

“What's in the bag,” Ashley asked pointing the the bag Emily brought along with her. She wanted to change the subject.

“Make-up and stuff,” Emily replied, “Jess and Sam are both bringing theirs along too when they finally get here. Because we thought we could all use options for today. I'm also guessing even though I know you own make-up...” She did. “...that you left it at your apartment.” She did.

“I also brought you this,” Emily continued pulling a small white pouch out of the bag. Very small. As in the thing was tiny. Emily handed it over to Ashley. Cautiously the bride-to-be opened it. Four pieces of jewelry fell out into her hand. Two necklaces, a pair of earrings and a bellybutton ring. Ashley thought she knew what this was about, but it was still very sweet.

“For the tradition?” Ashley asked looking up at Emily while she did.

“Exactly,” Emily said, “It was my idea because I know how much you like it. We each got you a piece of jewelry for the tradition. Nat said the earrings were your mom's and that you've had them since you were a little kid.”

Something old. They were the first piece of her mom's jewelry her dad ever gave her.

“Sam bought that necklace with the white dove for you the other day. She said that you would get it.”

Something new. White for her wedding and a bird for Beth, the first person Sam ever loved.

“That necklace is the one Matt and I bought for Jess on our first year anniversary.”

Something borrowed. Three silver hearts and one red intertwining around each other to make a cross.

“And you know what that is.”

Something blue. Emily's bellybutton ring from when they had gotten it done together. Her birthstone was a light blue. She was born in March. She put each piece back in the small pouch and crying she reached out to hug Emily. Emily hugged her back.

“This is great Em,” she said, “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Ash,” Emily said as she pulled back and she stroked her still messy hair as she did, she looked...off, “It's your day. Yours and... Chris'.”

Her other bridesmaids would be there soon so she didn't have a lot of time, but Emily looked so sad. Ashley wanted to help her.

“Emily,” she asked quietly, “What's wrong?”

Emily looked taken aback by that. She thought long and hard which that cold calculating look on her face. Then finally she said in a small uncharacteristically meek voice, “I'm never going to get married.”

“What?” Ashley asked, “What do you mean?”

“Jess and Matt... they don't want any of us to get married until we can all get married,” Emily explained to her, “Legally. To each other. But we can't. You can't be married to two people at once. Even if you all love each other and want to be together. So I'm never going to be able to get married.”

That was why Emily had cared so much about Ashley's wedding. It was why she was so invested in it. Because she really believed that she would never have one of her own. Even though she was currently in love with not one but two people. Ashley wished she knew what to say to that.

“It's good you're marrying him,” Emily said out of nowhere, “He'll make you happy. You deserve it.”

They didn't talk about it anymore because her sister had woken up and come out to meet them.

\---

Ashley ended up telling Matt first. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell Chris first. She of course wanted to tell Chris first. But she also wanted to tell him in a way that was special. When Matt came over that afternoon to hang out she was so excited that she had to say something. She raced to the door when she heard the bell and flung it open. He was not there for a minute and they had barely said, 'hi.' before she basically screamed.

“Chris and I are having a baby.”

Matt stood there in shock. She thought maybe she should have eased him into that or maybe she should have told her husband and then they could have told their friends together. To her surprise Matt began to laugh. He laughed hard and loud and joyfully. He laughed so hard that he needed to lean on the side of her door frame for support. He laughed for too long. She started to get insulted.

“Is that funny to you?” Ashley asked crossing her arms.

“Yeah it is,” Matt gasped out.

“Why?” she demanded. Her friends teased her often about her sex life with Chris. She could understand why they did it. He wasn't exactly a smooth operator. But this was a little far. What was so funny about the fact that Chris had gotten her pregnant?

“Because Emily told me and Jess this morning that she's pregnant,” Matt barely got out, “We're having a baby too.”

“Oh,” Ashley said and then she started to laugh because that was kind of funny. Ashley and Emily were going to be pregnant buddies. Then she and Jess and Emily were going to be mom buddies. That was actually really cool. Ashley moved aside to let Matt into her and Chris' apartment both of their laughter subsided as she did.

“Somebody better tell Mike and Sam to hurry and catch up,” Matt commented as he headed into their living room with her, “We're all living with our partners and domesticated and having kids already.”

“That's not fair Matt,” Ashley said, “They only got together after he graduated college.”

“Still chop, chop,” he said plopping down on the easy chair. Ashley went to the fridge to get them both something to drink. She wondered if she could still have coffee. She basically lived off the stuff, but it might not be good for the baby. That thought made her heart flutter and her stomach flip.

“This is pretty awesome,” Matt said as Ashley handed him a water bottle before sitting on the couch with her own. “They're going to be around the same age their whole lives. This means our kids are going to grow up together. Just like we did.”

“I still have that necklace you gave me,” Ashley said, “The chain finally broke off the old thing and I can't put another one on because the loop on the charm is bent funny now. But I still have the charm with the little flower. I keep it with my mom's jewelry in her old box.”

Matt was looking at her very confused before asking gently, “What are you talking about?”

“The necklace,” Ashley tried again, “The one you gave me on friendship day.”

“I gave you a necklace,” Matt said looking up as if trying to find the memory with his eyes in his head. Ashley reached over and smacked his arm. She couldn't believe him.

“Mathew,” she reprimanded, “That is one of the best moments from my childhood and you're telling me that you don't even remember it?”

Matt shrugged a little apologetically, “Sorry.”

That wasn't good enough so Ashley stood up and marched through the apartment into her bedroom. She dug in the old jewelry box until she found the circular charm. It's bright shine had faded over the years and it was rusting from how much she had worn it. That wasn't surprising it had been old when he gave it to her. It was still lovely though. She took it out to her friend and held it right in his face.

“Look,” she commanded, “See? You gave this to me when we were ten years old on valentines day.”

“Oh my god,” Matt said taking it from her and his face lighting up with recognition, “I do remember. Man, I must have looked at dozens of necklaces that day before I picked this one out for you. My mom was so annoyed at me. She kept asking why it was so important.”

“Dozens?” Ashley asked, “You told me you thought of me as soon as you saw it.”

“Did I?” Matt said, “I guess I didn't I want you to know I wanted to get you valentine's day gift.”

“Matt,” Ashley asked teasingly as she sat down again, “Did you have crush on me in grade school?”

“I wouldn't go that far,” Matt said but his face lit up with a blush and Ashley knew that he had.

“I had one on you too,” Ashley assured him so he felt a little less embarrassed, “Though that was just because you were the only one who was nice to me.”

“You're doing wonders for my self esteem here, Ash,” Matt said with a nod and she laughed at that and he laughed too. They had been kids together and they were going to be parents together. She liked that.

“I hope our kids like each other,” Ashley said worriedly hands on her midsection.

“Why wouldn't they?” Matt asked as if that couldn't happen.

“Any child of mine and Chris' is bound to be pretty different than one of yours, Jessica's and Emily's,” Ashley reminded him.

“And we always got along great though,” Matt reminded her holding up the charm, “You and me.”

That was true. They had. Matt was probably her best friend, now that Chris was her husband. He had been her very first real friend. He had liked her when no one else did. Any kid of his was sure to love any kid of hers. The opposite couldn't be possible.

\---

Joshua Hartley was his father's son. He looked like Chris, he talked like Chris, he had a silly personality like Chris, and he was smart like Chris. But he had wide green eyes like Ashley and that meant he had the same color eyes as his namesake had had and that always made his parents happy. But he had one other important thing in common with Joshua Washington. Josh loved his little sister Beth.

Ashley had never been close with Beth Washington. In fact out of all the Washingtons Beth probably liked her the least. However Matt, Jess and Emily had firmly decided they weren't naming any of their kids after their fallen friends and when Sam had given birth to her and Mike's daughter (which would be their only child) she had chosen to name her after her old best friend and not her former lover out of respect for him. So Chris and Ashley had named their second child for Beth because Chris had been close to her and because it felt like the right thing to do. Sam thanked them for it later.

“Mom, Dad,” Josh said rushing into the kitchen of their small house and poking his mother in the side. It had to be important because Josh knew not to bother whichever one of them was feeding the baby. His was named Jack because 'That old man with the flame thrower saved my life, Ash. The least we could do for him is find out what his name was and name our child after him.'

“What's up, kid?” Chris said getting down to his eyes level, “You're supposed to be getting ready for the first day of school, remember?”

“No really,” Josh said to his father, “I thought I could skip it and hit the beach instead.”

A child of only nine should not be able to achieve the level of sarcasm and bite that their son could. Ashley blamed that on him being named after Josh, Chris blamed it on him being her son. Chris ran a hand roughly on his head.

“Tell us what's going on?” he said to his son.

“Beth won't come out of her room,” Josh told him, “I don't even know if she's dressed or not and the bus is going to be here soon.”

Chris and Ashley shared a look. They had been afraid this might happen. She may have been named after the younger Washington twin, but her disposition more matched that of the older one. With the fact that like her father she also had to wear glasses it would have been more appropriate for them to call her Hannah.

“I've got her,” Ashley said to them, “You handle Jack and Josh finish getting ready.”

“I am ready,” Josh complained as she left the room. She heard Chris laugh at their son. Ashley made her way to her daughter's room upstairs and knocked on the door. There was no answer for a bit then:

“Who is it?” a tiny feminine voice called. Ashley had been timid like this when she was young. If Josh was like Chris than Beth was like her. Though unlike Josh who was all Chris, and their baby Jack who was all Ashley, Beth was a mix of their features. Her face shape and nose and chin, Chris' eyes and lips, strawberry blonde hair that was neither quite like Chris' or quite like hers, Ashley's voice but somehow with Chris' laugh. She was magic in the way she was just a perfect blend of her parents.

“It's mommy,” Ashley called back, “Are you ready for school? Daddy wants to take lots of pictures of you on your first day of kindergarten.”

Ashley heard her daughter mumble back.

“What's that Beth?” she asked knocking again. There was movement on the other side of the door. Then a few seconds later the door opened and down near the bottom, so tiny like Ashley had been at that age was her daughter. She was dressed and ready to go to school. She had on her new backpack and shoes. She had tears in her eyes.

“I said I don't want to go,” Beth said, “I won't know anybody there.”

That was true. Chris had taken her to a preschool out by his job because it was the one they liked best and nobody from there would be going to her Elementary school. She wouldn't know the kids in her class at all. But she wanted to go to the same school as Josh so they had enrolled her.

“You'll know Josh,” Ashley told her hoping to cheer her up.

“He's gonna be in a whole different class than me,” Beth argued back. Ashley couldn't fault her kid's logic on that. Sometimes she hated that her kids were smart. “And I don't get to ride there with daddy.”

Ashley hated times like these. She didn't know how you were supposed to be a mother. She had been about this old when she lost her own. She had to start her own first day of kindergarten without her mom. Her dad had been at work too. Her sister got her ready and helped her onto the bus. She didn't have a mommy to do it. That thought gave Ashley an idea. She grabbed her daughter's by the hand.

“Come with me,” she said and led Beth towards Ashley and Chris' bedroom. She sat her down on their queen bed. Then she dug out the locket her mother always used to wear. She took the small picture out. Then she handed it to Beth. While the girl held the empty locket Ashley searched the room until she found a picture that was small enough for it. She walked over and replaced the slot with her own photo.

“There,” she said looking at Beth's curious face, “This belonged to my mommy.”

“Really?” Beth asked. Her eyes big and sparkling.

“Really,” Ashley said, “I want you to have it and if you get sad or you miss me or daddy or Josh then I want you to look at and remember that we all love you and we miss you too. Think that will help you get through school today?”

Beth nodded and shyly said, “Maybe. Thank you, mommy.”

When they got downstairs the baby was fed and Chris took about a million pictures of their kids before they got on the bus using his phone while Ashley held the baby and tried not to cry. Josh proudly held Beth's hand as he helped her onto the bus. He cared more about her happiness than people teasing him.

“You sure you're okay with giving her that necklace?” Chris asked as the bus left, “She might lose it.”

Ashley nodded and smiled and as her mom used to say, “She's a child, Chris and it made her happy.”

**Author's Note:**

> That ending gets pretty fucking confusing seeing as how Chris and Ashley named their kids Josh and Beth. Anyway that was my Ashley story. 
> 
> Feedback always welcome.


End file.
